Time

As I was in the shower this morning I started thinking about the time when I was younger and slept over at my aunt's house for one night. I was about five years old and my aunt had three teenage children-one boy, two girls. I was to sleep in the girls' room, but before bed my aunt gave me a bath. My aunt had given me baths numerous times, and to help her wash my hair she had this bucket. It was like a bucket that kids bring to the beach to play with, but she used it in the bath, and when she wasn't using it, I played with it. I used to do all sorts of things with it, but my favorite thing was to fill it up with water, then quickly turn it over and push it down to the bottom of the tub and sit on it. I did that all the time. Well, this particular time I was doing that, and when I sat on it, it broke. Oops. My aunt cracked up. (No worries, she was still able to wash my hair :P).

Anyway, that all flashed through my mind in about two seconds this morning, and it got me to thinking. I was only five when that happened, and in less than a month I shall be 21. Where did all the time in between go? I mean, here I am today, a junior in college hoping to graduate this coming June. I have a good, steady, part-time job. I'm all grown up. I'm an adult, and soon, a fully legal adult. How could that have happened? How could I have gone from kindergarten to practically finished with college so soon?

It's funny. When I was younger everyone would tell me how quickly time flies, but, of course, I didn't believe it. I didn't believe it because when I was younger time used to drag, just drrrraaaagggggg. It seemed like it went on forever. But the older I became, the more quickly time passed till before I knew it, it was gone.

A younger cousin of mine recently celebrated her tenth birthday. Ten! She's ten years old! How, when, why? She can't be ten. I was just holding her in my arms when she was a baby, and now she's ten. And don't get me started on my other younger cousins. Geez. Pretty soon they'll be my age. Oy. Let's not go there-yet.

So as I'm in the shower and all this is going through my head (in about 20 seconds I was done with the thought; for some reason it takes a lot longer to write it all out than it does to think it, go figure), I realize, as I have many times before, that life and time is precious, and before you know it, time (and life) is gone. Try not to let time pass to quickly, because as much and as often as you wish it would, when it's over, you can never get that time back.

101 Ways to Annoy People

A friend of mine posted this as a comment on my myspace page, and I had to share it. Enjoy everyone, and thanks Pesach! :D

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace". 19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol. 21. Practice making fax and modem noises. 22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss. 23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person." 26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy." 27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. 28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. 31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice. 32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 34. Drum on every available surface. 35. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates. 37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings. 38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks. 39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 41. Set alarms for random times. 42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. 43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving. 44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 45. Honk and wave to strangers. 46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange. 47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies. 49. Wear your pants backwards. 50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" 52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. 53. only type in lowercase. 54. dont use any punctuation either 55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 56. Pay for your dinner with pennies. 57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps. 60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories. 61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now." 62. Light road flares on a birthday cake. 63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador." 66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. 68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One." 69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. 71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. 72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 73. Drive half a block. 74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 75. Ask people what gender they are. 76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back. 77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl. 78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes". 79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet. 81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a." 84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 86. Wear a LOT of cologne. 87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 88. Sing along at the opera. 89. Mow your lawn with scissors. 90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!" 91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." 94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture." 95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 96. Never make eye contact. 97. Never break eye contact. 98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September. 101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

My Survey! (Ok, really, it's Ilana's, but I stole it)

1. What is your name? Kahbbeberlitz & McLockerritz
2. If you could have a different name, what would it be? Jill
3. If you gave your kids English names, what would they be? Ummmm...I always liked the name Shane for a boy. Dylan too, but we all know how that turned out, so Dylan is off the list. For a girl, I like Chris, Jamie, and Emma.
4. What is your favorite flavor Snapple? Peach, Mango Madness, and Kiwi Strawberry.
5. What is your favorite color? Purrrrrrrple
6. What is your least favorite color? Anything brown or brownish, and sometimes black depending on my mood. Other colors I may not like also depend on my mood, but in general, I like the bright colors, but not too bright.
7. One thing you want to try but are too scared to actually do: Skydiving is the one that comes to mind the quickliest, so I'm going to assume that.
8. One scary thing you tried and are glad you did: Skycoasting! Omg, I want to go do that again! Who's with me?
9. Fear: Spiders, centipedes (EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW to both), and some people on the bus and/or train.
10. Sunrise or sunset? Ohhhhhh...good one. I'm gonna have to go with....I can't choose! I'm going with both.
11. Early bird or night owl? Night owl baby. Definitely a night owl. I am SOOOOOO *not* a morning person.
12. Favorite item of clothing: My favorite pair of jeans. :D
13. Least favorite: I have many, do have to choose? Gotta go with Ilana on this one-pantyhose. But I also greatly dislike knee-highs and some skirts.
14. Secret ambition: None really. I'm pretty vocal about what I want to do, so most people know. If not, well, too bad for those who don't. :P JK. Actually, I'd really like to someday be top ADA, but not DA. That seems like too much work, plus, I wouldn't get to go into court and fight that often.
15. Best soundtrack to work out to: Work out? What's that? Whatever is on my iPod that I feel like listening to at the time.
16. Best thing to eat at a movie: Chocolate, buttered popcorn, and a Coke (though that always makes me have to pee in the middle or best part of the movie, but i don't because I don't want to miss anything, so I wait until the movie's over and then make a beeline to the bathroom only to have to wait because EVERYONE else is in there too!).
17. Would you rather shop alone or with a friend? Alone. I like being by myself sometimes and that would give me time to have some "me" time.
18. Eat a dead bug or kiss a live snake? Thanks for making me puke Ilana. Very gross, but you get points for creativeness (but not many because you made me puke). I'd have to go with the snake too. No way am I putting a bug in my mouth, let alone a dead one.
19. If you were stranded on a deserted island, and you could only have one thing, what would you bring with you? My cell phone 'cause them I could call for help. I'm surprised no one thought of that before. :rollseyes: If i couldn't bring my cell, I'd have to bring...a sweater or sweatshirt. I hear nights are cold on deserted islands, especially when there's no one to help you keep warm.
20. Best book ever? Oh, so many! I love Janet Evanovich and her Stephanie Plum series, but I also like anything by Nora Roberts. There are others, but I'm drawing a blank.
21. Best movie ever? Pirates of the Caribbean! Woohoo! Ilana and Abby, remember we have date to see it in theaters next year? Yay! I also like Beauty & the Beast, and The Little Mermaid (mainly for the songs though).
22. Are you a messy person or a neat person? Well, at home I tend to be messy, but at work/school I'm so neat, I guess because I have to be, especially at work.
23. Do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? I'm a side sleeper. I used to be a back sleeper, and before that I was a side sleeper, and now I'm back to being a side sleeper.
24. Purse or bag/tote? Hmmmm...I like purses because they're cute and they limit the amount of things you can carry with you. But totes allow you to put more in, espcially when you don't feel like carrying a million bags with your things in them because you have an actual purse.

And I'm going to end on 24 because it's an even number and I like even numbers better than odd numbers (and I'm in a superstitious mood right now-don't ask). Anyone is welcome to steal this survey (btw, the last three questions I added, so I want credit for them if you credit the survey). Nighty night peeps!