What Am I Thinking!?

Over the past three or four months I've been doing a lot of thinking about the direction of my life. As many of you know by now, I want to go into criminal law, working for the county or the state, but lately I've been questioning my decision. I'm not talking about the specialty of law, I'm talking about law, being a lawyer, going to law school. Lately I've been wondering if I'm smart enough to even go to law school.

Now, I know what you all are going to say and what you're thinking. "Of course you're smart enough for law school!" "Why would you think you're not good enough for law school?!" And so on. This is not something I'm saying out of fear of law school and everything it entails. (Well, not completely.) Granted, I am scared. It's a very scary prospect, especially all the work. But I know I can do it. I say this because I've been taking many classes these past two to three quarters that deal with some aspect of law or another, and as I sit there and listen to the answers my peers give, or the questions they ask, I ask myself, "Why can't I think of questions like that? Why do I have such trouble thinking critically?"

Again, I know that the majority of the ctical thinking you do in law school is something that they teach you while you're there, but don't you have to at least show some potential for doing it? Yes, I do think critically, sometimes. It's not that I don't. But I don't think the way other students headed for law school think. And that concerns me.

Be that as it may, I'm sticking to it. I'm going to law school. I have to at least try. After all, I've dreamed of this since I was twelve, and to give up on a dream when it's so close is just....sad. Besides, if I gave up before trying I would never be able to forgive myself. Not to mention, if I don't go, I have no idea what else I'm going to do.