The Baggage of Divorce

A few weeks ago I went out with two good friends of mine. One was in from New York for Succos, so we all wanted to catch up and hang out before the holidays began. As usual, our conversation led to dating, and all the trials and tribulations that go with it. My friend, C (her real name begins with an "I" but using that might get awkward as it is also a pronoun), the one from New York, began telling us a story of how a friend of hers wanted to set her up with a man that she had met and had a really good feeling about. Here is the thing though: He is divorced. My two friends, A and C, were hesitant about this.

Dating someone who is around our age, who already has a divorce under his belt can be a lot to take on. As C said, "I'm not sure I want to date someone who already has that kind of baggage at my age." Granted, this man is 28, but it is still baggage, and understandably, not one many would want to deal with. I sat there, listening to them, understanding where they were coming from, but thinking that divorce is probably not the worst thing to deal with in a relationship, at least, in my opinion; there are worse things out there. I am not going to get into what is worse right now; everyone will have their own opinions on that, and I am sure many will disagree with me. What I am trying to get at is that I, a child of a bitter divorce, is thinking that divorce is not the scariest thing to deal with in a relationship.

As I sat there and thought about the irony of that, I realized that yes, I am scared of getting divorced. How can I not be? More than half the marriages in the U.S. end up in divorce, but not only that, I witnessed divorce first hand. However, I am more scared of not ever getting married, not ever finding my "happily ever after," even if it's only temporary. I am scared of never getting the family and husband I want. Maybe I am being skeptical, or pessimistic, or both, but I am being honest. Yes, divorce comes with plenty of baggage, but so can never being married.