Cut Out

Grades from first term are slowly trickling in, though they are all due by next week. As I look at them, I slowly see my dream slipping away with each grade, and it terrifies me. Did I fight so hard to get into law school only to have my schools' harsh policies kick me out? No, of course not. However, I might not have a choice. Do I chalk it up to it being my first term? I could, but there is no way to know for sure if that is the is the case.

At the same time though, I wonder if it is a sign--maybe law school is not for me. Maybe this is not what I am meant to do with my life. Just because you want something and are interested in it, does not mean that you should do it. I wonder if that applies to me. But then I also wonder if having extended time would have made a difference. Or studying more, or using a different study method, or studying earlier. There are so many factors that go into it; so many variables that it is hard to tell if changing one of them, or any of them, will make a difference, because, like I said, maybe it is not the factors. Maybe it is just me. Maybe I am just not cut out for this.

I do know that I did the best I could at the time. But sometimes my best is not enough, as the case might be. That means that I have to step up my game this term, which I will. In the meantime though, I cannot help but wonder if I am cut out for this.