Oh Boy

Oh boy, what a busy couple of days. I don't even know where to begin. Do I start with what my shmuck of a father has done today, or with my totally amazing, wonderful, yet a bit scary discovery?

To start off, I've been subpoenaed. My father's new attorney has subpoenaed me. She believes every lie he's told her (that he's a great father, that he sent me flowers, that he wants to see me, blah blah blah...), and is convinced that he and I should see each other, that we can work things out. Yeah, right. This August it'll be eight years since I've seen him, and he lives ten minutes away from me. Yes, I wanted nothing to do with eight years ago, and still don't, but eight years ago I could not choose not to see him. I didn't have the choice not to go for a visitation. He did though. And he chose. He chose not to show up for that visitation eight years ago, and the visitations after that. He chose not to contact me for the past eight years: no phone call, no birthday card, nothing. Which was fine by me; I wanted that, but I didn't have the choice to do so. Now that I do have the choice, he claims to want to see me. And I choose 'no.'

Anyway, back to my subpoena. His attorney is convinced that by subpoenaing me, that will get the two of us (my father, Avi, and me) into the same room) since there's no way I will choose to do so otherwise. Obviously, she doesn't know me very well. I'd rather be arrested for not showing up than actually showing up. Not that any of that matters. I can't go anyway. It's for tomorrow and that's the last day of actual classes before finals. I have to go to that. However, Avi's attorney did send me a check for twenty-five dollars, which is technically for travel expenses, but I'm keeping it anyway. (Ok, maybe not, but I'd like to.) And he's doing this all because we asked him to help pay for my college expenses...

Now, onto my much better and much happier news. I have an answer to my question that I posed in my previous post. I'm in love. No doubt about it, and it's the best feeling in the world. What would be better though is if I knew how he felt about me, but how can I when I haven't told him how I feel? I decided to tell him last night. I had finally gotten up the courage to put myself out there and tell him. And then the power goes out. Just my luck, huh? So I didn't talk to him at all last night and I was so upset. Not because I couldn't tell him how I feel, but because I couldn't even talk to him, and I don't even have his number (not that I could have called anyway). So, now I wait to tell him tonight, and it's with baited breath.