Moving Out

Last week my aunt and mom made the decision to give up my grandfather's apartment at the retirement home he was living at before he fell two months ago and broke his pelvis. This past Sunday, they started packing up his place and dividing up the furniture amongst family members. They didn't want to make this kind of decision, but had to. A couple of weeks ago my grandfather was moved into the nursing home for rehab and physical therapy. However, just like in the hospital he refuses to do anything. Whenever the physical therapist comes he tells her (and I quote), "Go away. Leave me alone." He doesn't want to do anything.

Part of the problem is that he doesn't comprehend much of anything. He doesn't understand that if he wants to go home (though it no longer exists), he's going to have to be able to at least stand, but he can't even do that on his own. He refuses. My mom thinks part of the reason he doesn't is because he is scared, which is very understandable. However, at the same time, if he wants to go home (which he does), he's going to have to be able to stand on his own. He can't expect his caretaker to lift him up out of bed and into the wheelchair, or anywhere else for that matter. He's a dead weight and it's very hard for her. It's even hard when there are two people there to maneuver him around.

Anyway, so Sunday I went over to his apartment to help my aunt, uncle, and mom, and I was walking down the endless hallway towards his apartment (it's at the end of the hall), I had to stop and just compose myself. I realized that it was probably one of the last times I would walk down that hallway. But that wasn't the saddest thing. The saddest thing was that moving him out of the retirement home for good means that he's OLD. I mean, he's 91, so yes, he's old, but he was always in great shape for his age. Plus, it was a retirement home. not an old age home, not a nursing home, a RETIREMENT home. I know that's a nice way of saying old age home, but still. Like I said, he was always in great shape, so I never really considered him old. But now...Now they're giving up his apartment in the retirement home and permanently moving him into a nursing home. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's a new stage, and a harder one to deal with because of what it implies about my grandfather.