Well, it's over. My first, real, true love has ended. And not nicely at that. I don't feel like going into it, and I might not ever tell the whole story on here, but I just need to get a couple of things out. MEN ARE SCUM. No, they are lower than scum, they are the scum that feeds on the scum, the bacteria that grows on it, that eats away at it, only to produce more scum.
I feel so shitty right now. Like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and stomped o n over and over and over again, then stuck back in. I feel like bawling my eyes out, but I don't want to. He doesn't deserve tears, nor the time that it takes to make them. He deserves nothing. If he can treat me like this, he does not deserve my time, pain, hurt, or anything. But here I am, blogging about him, taking the time to put it all down onto paper (as the expression goes).
However, despite how I am feeling right now, and will feel in the days and weeks to come, I know I will be ok. I WILL get through this. I WILL survive this to meet the man of my dreams, and this time he WILL be Jewish (let's not go into that right now, ok? I slipped up, and learned my lesson big time). I'll be ok. Yes, I will be ok.
I want to wish everyone a happy, healthy, peaceful, wealthy, successful, and great new year! I wish each and every one of you (and your families) the best in the world.
14 comments:
((((HUGS))))<--you probably need quite a few of these right now.
I'm so, so sorry that you got so hurt by him. He truly is scum to have ripped your heart out like this. But you're right--eventually, you'll start to feel better. It won't be easy, and it will take time, but you'll be okay.
If you ever want to talk/vent, feel free to PM me anytime.
Have a happy, healthy, sweet year!
Thanks Enigma. You're right-I do need a lot of those hugs. Just knowing that I have support from all my friends helps too. Have a great, happy, healthy, and sweet new year!
(((HUGS)))<--cuz you can't have too many!
oh wow, that's awful. *wants to cry for you* sending HUGE hugs *squish!* and belief that the new year will bring you something much better than what you're losing, something that will make it all worth it. and if you want to talk, i want to listen, so...
btw i might be moving out your way O_O wouldnt that be weird? email me sometime.
irae
Enigma-Thanks! I can't have too many, and I'm getting them from everyone I know, virtual or not. And I'm not turning down any offers for one. :)
Irae-Thank you! It means a lot. I want to talk, but I won't be able to do so today. It's going to be crazy once I get home from work. I'll email you at some point next week. And yes, that would be weird if you moved my way, but also very cool! Let me know! Also, I know you're not Jewish, but have a great new year! ;)
(((HUGS)))<--a few more, just for good measure. :)
I hope you had a nice Rosh Hashana!
You deserve all the good in the world. I hope this year brings much love and happiness.
I can't say I know you feel, but you know what I mean when I say that...
I'm so sorry that he did that to you. It was so mean of him.
I hope this year brings you only happiness.
E-mail me one of these days.
well Im not one to judge, but Im happy that the dude with the same name as that 90210 hot guy is gone. Thats just too much baggage that name.
(hey Im being a scummy guy)
Enigma-Thanks. :) Yes, I had a wonderful, and loud R"H. I actually credit being around my family for two days straight as the reason I'm feeling so much better about all of this. Not all knew, in fact, most did not, but just being around them, having them there, made all the difference.
Ski-Thank you. You also deserve all the happiness, greatness, and love in the world too. You're a great person, and I hope you know that.
Calvin-Yes, I do know what you mean. And thank you too. I haven't forgotten about you. I know I have to email you, but things have been a bit crazy here. I WILL email you though! Promise.
CD-Lol, thanks for the much needed laugh. Good to know that not ALL men are scumbags (and yes, that means you too). :) Just one question: why are you happy he's gone?
Quote: . I feel like bawling my eyes out, but I don't want to. He doesn't deserve tears, nor the time that it takes to make them. /End quote
I don't think it's about him deserving it or not. It's about you having lost something very real to you. Love. It doesn't matter who it was at the other end. For now, you are in pain over a love lost. And for that, you deserve to cry.
Pain over love is so very painful.
TDP
Oh, dear Aviva. I am so awfully saddened and hurt for you. I can't believe he did that, and I certainly cannot imagine the pain you are going through right now. Please accept my sincerest hugs along with everyone else's, and my hope and blessing that you will be able to have closure as soon as possible - so that you can continue on with this year and discover all the good things that are hopefully in store for you just around the corner.
TDP-Yes, I was in pain, but I refused to cry because I felt by crying, I would be giving something more to him. More energy, time, etc, and I don't feel he even deserved that. But, be that as it may, I did cry. And it felt good.
Hisb-Thank you for the beautiful blessing, and the hugs. So far, the new year is going great, I'm happy to say! :)
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