Today is the day. At 10:38AM he is leaving for New York, and on July 6th, he leaves for Israel. I try not to think about it, but it seems to be all I can do lately. I am not sure if I can put into words how I am feeling. I am not really sure I want to, yet. Putting it into words, writing it down, will make it final. It will make it real. Yes, in my mind I know it is real, and I know it is happening. But it has not happened yet. He has not boarded the plane, it has not taken off, I have not said goodbye. Therefore, it not completely real.
I have not cried yet, either. Not because I do not care, but because, in my thinking, he is still here, still with me, and I am not going to spend the time I have left with him crying. I refuse to do that. I refuse to fall apart in front of him. I am going to support him, no matter what it costs me, because it is what I need to do. It is what I want to do. When he is on the plane, then I will begin my sob fest. But until then, my eyes will remain (fairly) dry.
* In May, 2009 I made a blog post titled "Leaving on Jet Plane ," which is where I first mentioned my boyfriends' plans to make Aliyah. For that post, see here.
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