What Hurts The Most

In the twenty-fours hours plus since my relationship ended, I have been doing quite a lot of thinking. I realized that while yes, breaking up is extremely heartbreaking, that for me, right now, what hurts the most is that my hopes for a future with him are gone. The last time we broke up, about six months ago, I still had that hope. At that time he had not already decided to stay, so my hope that he would come back in a few years and that we could have a future then were still there. But now, now he is staying, and my hopes for a future are dashed. I no longer have even that shred of hope to hang onto, and unless one of us changes our minds (which is very unlikely), I will not even have that hope later on. That is what hurts the most. I think that is what I am grieving for most of all.