The other day my mom asked me, "If you heard anything, you'd tell me, right?" She was referring to my law school applications and whether or not I heard back from any schools yet. I replied, "Yes." Truth be told though, I heard back from one school a few weeks ago and did not tell anyone, for two weeks. In fact, I just told my best friend, A, the other day. I still have not told my mom, though I know I have to.
One reason I kept it to myself is that it makes me feel like a failure, even though this is not the first law school rejection letter I have ever received. I felt like a failure last year when I received five rejection letters (though granted, I was expecting all of them). Then, I felt like a failure when I received my most recent LSAT score (because of all the hours of studying I put in), and now I feel like a failure with my latest rejection letter. It is just one thing after another.
Part of the reason this rejection letter was so much more of a disappointment and failure is because this time, I aimed low when applying. I am only applying to schools that I have a chance of being accepted at, so when one school like that tells me "No, sorry, even though we are on the lowest tier as far as law schools go, we still do not want you," it naturally makes me feel like a failure. (That is not what they really said, but that is basically what it comes down to.) The letter also made any hope I had of getting into other schools disappear.
Another reason I did not tell anyone until recently is not only because I feel like a failure, but because I am the type of person that needs time to absorb and process this kind of information, and in this case, the disappointment and failure. I did the same thing when my ex-boyfriend and I broke up. I did not tell anyone right away as I needed time to process and absorb. This time, not only did I need time, but as I said, it was, is, a disappointment. A great disappointment. Yes, it was only one school out of about six, but a rejection letter is still a rejection letter, and failure is still failure, no matter what. So when I received that letter two weeks ago, I read it, left it on my desk for a few days, then ripped it up and recycled it, not telling anyone anything. I was in no hurry to broadcast my rejection, to anyone.
3 comments:
You aren't a failure. This is just Hashem closing one door, so it will be easier for you to make the right choice, and go through the right door. That is all. :) Cheer up!
Gam zu La Tova!
Don't let this discouragement get you down. have you looked into an LSAT class? the books they have out there are not really affective, but it is the prep. classes that train how you think and give you thinking tricks to do well on the LSATS. The classes might be expensive, but what you tend to put into something you tend to get out of something. But it might not be immediate. If you did a class, give another class program a try, maybe the one you went to wasn't effective for you. Maybe you need something different? With all due respect, maybe the study time you put in wasn't productive study time. Maybe you weren't tackling the proper areas. Do you know where and what your strengths and weaknesses are? maybe the teacher could help you work on those areas. My son had a similar situation with the MCAT 3 years ago. He ended up taking it 4 times and after signing up for a second LSAT class (this is after he studying on his own two times and then signing up for the first class) did he get into medical school. My suggestion, is try an alliterative route. Maybe there is something your doing that isn't working out for you, and you need to go about it in a different way. Explore your options, do a really good google search, and see what you can do. don't give up, its the worse thing you can do.
be positive always
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