The Pot Calling the Kettle Black

Last night I was having a conversation with a friend who is in a relationship with a girl, but they each know that it is short term. They know that it will eventually come to an end, and not in a year or so, but rather in a matter of months. I asked, bluntly, "If you know this is going to end soon, then why are you putting yourselves through this?"

As the words came out of my mouth, I realized that I sounded like a hypocrite. A big one. How can I ask him that question when I am doing the same thing with my boyfriend? He's leaving for Israel in July, at which time we will probably break up. Yet, here I am, knowing the end is drawing near, knowing that when this does happen that I am going to heartbroken, and I am still with him.

Many people have asked me over the last three or four months why I have not broken up with him already, knowing that he is leaving. The only answer I have for them is that I cannot. I cannot let go yet; I am not ready to let go. But I do know the longer I am with him, the more attached and involved I am getting, and because of that, it will only hurt me more in the end.

So as I asked my friend why they were doing to themselves and to each other, I knew why, and I felt like a hypocrite for even asking. They care about each other, and have fun together, and are obviously not ready to let go yet. And that I can totally understand.