Do you ever feel like nothing ever goes right, that you are always fighting for something? That no matter what you do, you know there is going to be some sort of roadblock? That it's just one thing after another, and you wonder why you even bother in the first place? Do you ever just feel stuck, like you have no idea where you are headed?
Lately, I have had a lot on my mind. I have been thinking about many things, each of which could have an enormous impact on my life. I hate thinking about them, mainly because I have no idea what to do and thinking about them does not get me anywhere. I start thinking about them, hoping I can come up with an answer or at least resolve it somewhat, but I come out with no answer, no resolution whatsoever, and only more confused than when I went into my head. Sometimes I think it's better just to stay out of there.
I know that these major things I am thinking about have no straight answer. None of them are clear-cut. (If they were, I wouldn't be having this problem.) And I know that I just have to wait most of these things out, but I hate that. I hate having such major issues up in the air, not even knowing when they will be resolved, and I especially hate it because of how big these things are in my life. I feel like I veered off the road and got caught in the mud. I feel stuck. I feel like I have no idea where I am headed, that I am lost in a sense. And I must say, it really sucks not knowing where you are going.
4 comments:
I'm sorry. I know what it feels like, and I have been there many times. I can only hope that you eventually get out of it. Take a road trip perhaps? Get away from it all for a day, see a friend that you haven't seen in forever? I don't know what to suggest, although sometimes just screaming at the top of your lungs can help to. :) Hatzlacha.
I know exactly how you feel hunny. I know that also sucks to hear. It doesn't make it any better. It doesn't change your situation. I just want to let you know that you are not alone.
I often feel like I am working so hard and yet something always gets in the way. Even if it's just something small or something temporary, it still gets in the way. It further complicates an already complicated road, if that makes any sense. And it sucks. It does. I think life is just like that sometimes. When we are younger we see our parents and other adults. We observe how they handle things and how they react in times of uncertainty. As a child these adults seem to handle things well and this makes us think that life will be o.k. That no matter what we too will be able to overcome whatever life throws at us.
As we get older, things are not that way. They are not as we thought they would be at all. They are hard and we feel uncertain about everything. Instead of worrying about the things we used to think were a big deal, we have to worry about things that are a big deal. It's hard because as you said there's always something there that doesn't go right. Something that leaves you feeling confused and helpless because there's nothing you can do to change it. Sometimes you just have to wait it out and hope for the best. No matter what you just have to keep going, keep hoping, keep trying. If you give up and stop fighting for whatever it is you want you will never get it. If you at least try, you can say you tried your hardest and did your best. You never know what can happen when you least expect it.
I know I am just rambling and that I'm probably not even making any sense, but I just want to you to know that I know exactly how you are feeling. I am always here for you if/when you want to talk.
I hope that whatever crap I just mumbled can help you instead of making you feel worse. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you. Love you!
Abby it made perfect sense, at least to me.
Dan- Thanks. I would love to take a road trip, but that would only be delaying the inevitable and take me away from what I should be doing. Maybe a road trip to celebrate when it's over would be nice.
Abby- It makes total sense. There are times I wish I could go back and be that little kid. But I'm not, and as much as I would love for life to bet hat simple again, it is not. And to be honest, sometimes I just get so tired of fighting for my dreams, fighting to succeed, that I just want to give up in order to make it all go away. But that's the thing about dreams. They never go away; they are always there, and unless a person can say that they gave it their all and try their best, those dreams won't subside. Thanks for the encouraging words. Seeing you fight for your dreams is encouraging me to continue fighting for mine. :-)
Post a Comment