You know the feeling I am referring to- the feeling where everything inside just seems to fall downward. I do not get those moments often, but over the past three or four months I have gotten it more than I would like. I get this feeling whenever my ex tells me he is going on a date or dating someone. The first time he told me, I felt like I was on a roller coaster, when you go down a high drop and your stomach feels like it is dropping with you. Yeah, that is how I felt the first time. It does not hurt to know that he is dating, but for some reason, my stomach just drops when he tells me.
Ok, maybe I do know why. Yes, it is hard to see your ex move on, but what I seem to be struggling with is the image that he is with someone else. It is hard for me to picture anyone else with him but myself. The image of us is still stuck in my head, and it is not because I am jealous, angry, or anything else. It is because when you date someone for two years, you get so used to the image and the idea of the two of you together, that it becomes hard to picture him with anyone else. And who knows, maybe it is hard for him to picture me with someone else. I cannot even picture myself with someone else, yet.
The feeling seems to be fading though, little by little. The more he tells me that he has dates, the less my stomach drops. While I have no idea what these girls look like, it is the image that I am getting used to: him with another girl. However, I cannot wait for the day when my stomach does not drop at all.
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